The Irish Ballad
Author: Tom Lehrer
 
  
  A
One
Em
bout a maid I'll
morning in a fit

sing a song
of pique
  
Sing
Sing
  
rickety-
rickety-
Am
tickety-
tickety-
E
tin
tin
  
  A
One
Am
bout a maid I'll
morning in a fit
Em
sing a song
of pique
  
Who
She
D
didn't have her
drowned her father
Em
family long
in the creek
  
Not
The
Em
only
water
Am
did she
tasted
Em
do them
bad for a
Am
wrong
week
  
  She
And we
Em
did ev'ry
had to
D
one of them
  make do with
Em
in, them
gin, with
D
in
gin
  
She
We
Em
did ev'ry
had to
D
one of them
make do with
Em
in
gin


Her mother she could never stand
Sing rickety-tickety-tin
Her mother she could never stand
And so a cyanide soup she planned
The mother died with a spoon in her hand
And her face in a hideous grin, a grin
Her face in a hideous grin

She set her sister's hair on fire
Rickety-tickety-tin
She set her sister's hair on fire
And as the smoke and flame rose high'r
Danced around the funeral pyre
Playin' a violin, -olin
Playin' a violin

She weighted her brother down with stones
Rickety-tickety-tin
She weighted her brother down with stones
And sent him off to Davy Jones
All they ever found were some bones
And occasional pieces of skin, of skin
Occasional pieces of skin
   One day when she had nothing to do
Rickety-tickety-tin
One day when she had nothing to do
She cut her baby brother in two
And served him up as an Irish stew
And invited the neighbors in, -bors in
Invited the neighbors in

And when at last the police came by
Rickety-tickety-tin
And when at last the police came by
Her little pranks she did not deny
To do so she would have had to lie
And lying, she knew, was a sin, a sin
Lying, she knew, was a sin

My tragic tale, I won't prolong
Rickety-tickety-tin
My tragic tale I won't prolong
And if you do not enjoy my song
You've yourselves to blame if it's too long
You should never have let me begin, begin
You should never have let me begin